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Mia and I have a pretty amazing circle of friends. From bombarding each other with a million texts in the group chat (thanks for that as I try and sleep in the mornings after a 12 hour night shift- 92 messages?! Really?!), to (at least) monthly game night sessions where we sip cocktails from plastic princess cups while we argue over whether or not one of our hubbies is cheating in HeadBandz (he was by the way), to planning international adventures to Europe (summer 2016 can’t come soon enough!) we have a lot of fun.
An integral part of this group is our dear friend Stephanie, known for her quick wit, sarcasm, and tough as nails attitude. Don’t let her fool you though, beneath the hard exterior this chick has a heart of gold (and she makes a mean cheese dip for game nights- she may have to guest blog on a Fatten me Up Friday). She’s the friend who will deck out in Panthers garb for the Superbowl because she knows you’re a die hard fan even though she isn’t even sure what the Superbowl means, she drops her plans on a Saturday to go to a Halloween party with you so you don’t have to go alone, and she buys special toys and coloring stuff for your kids for the annual Christmas party so they will have something to do. But seriously she’s the best- she completes this crazy gang we roll with.
I have been compiling a list of my favorite things we has said/posted/texted (much like our list of crazy things our kids have said- read that here). Without further ado- the best Stephanie-isms of recent:
– The most unrealistic thing about watching Friends is not how they can all afford those apartments, but how they don’t come home from work and immediately change into pajamas.
– Beach when your 16 vs 32:
Where should we set up?
16: next to all those cute boys so I can show off my swimsuit
32: Where are there less people?
“Don’t forget skin care”
16: *slathers on copious amounts of suntan oil
32: *meticulously covers every inch in SPF 50 waterproof
“What should we eat?’
16: Whatever greasy thing the street vendor is selling
32: I brought a cooler with snacks!
“What do you want to do?”
16: Let’s play football! No, swim! No, let’s go jump off those rocks!
32: *applies more sunscreen*
16: Let’s lay out and get more sun?
32: Ohhhh, that’s a cool seashell!
– If I make it through today unmediated, I deserve an award.
– Does anyone know anywhere offering classes for Adulting? Or How to Adult? Or perhaps one of my dear FB friends is an Adultier Adult that I could consult?
– Anyplace I can shop and drink is OK is my book.
– I feel like Trump is the same guy/girl running for student body president back in middle school who promised free pizza for lunch every day just to get the votes…and we all know how that turned out.
– For anyone who’s said that Ikea is the ultimate test of a relationship has clearly never pained a bathroom with their S.O.
– I just got an email notification to remind us of Channing Tatums birthday…does anyone remember why?? (Btw, we all got this reminder and can’t remember how it got set)
– I don’t think I have the stamina to be a girl
– There’s nothing that ruins a “hey-I-look-pretty-decent-today” mood quicker than when you turn your phone on and it’s in forward facing camera mode. Hello chins. Good morning to you.
– I think we’d be one step closer to achieving world peace of everyone would just use their freaking blinker.
We love you Steph! Keep entertaining us with your witty comments!